“Operation Wax Smoke”

March 16, 2008

By Kim Roberson

Kim Roberson

Remember a few months ago, I mentioned that Kevin Harvick had posed a Challenge to Tony Stewart: If Harvick could raise $100,000 for the Victory Junction Gang Camp, Tony would get a full body wax. Stewart, who many people have commented is one of the hairiest men in NASCAR, agreed, and “Operation Wax Smoke” was born. Just over a year later, it is time for Smoke to get waxed (no, not by Goodyear), and he’ll do it live on the radio. During his Sirius show, “Tony Stewart Live” (TSL) tonight, Kevin Harvick will join co-host Matt Yocum as Tony goes to an “undisclosed location” to get his full body wax. At intervals during the show, they will go live to Tony, who will update his situation…assuming he can speak and isn’t passed out from the pain.

“Operation Wax Smoke” was born out of retaliation for a prank before the 2007 Daytona 500. During a TV interview, Stewart held up a photograph of Ronald McDonald that had been altered to make it appear that Harvick was wearing Ronald's suit . “Now, I am not one to let a practical joke go unanswered," Harvick said on his Infieldparking blog last February. "So here is my retort: My new colors may indeed be similar to those of Ronald McDonald, but have you seen Tony Stewart's chest and back? Because Tony is such a great guy, he has offered up a solution to his follicle issues."

From The Movie "40 Year old Virgin"

Remember the movie “The 40-year old Virgin” where Steve Carell’s character Andy Stitzer goes in to get his chest waxed? Smoke allegedly is just as hairy (I have never seen him bare-chested, but he dressed as Elvis last Halloween, and you could get an idea of what is up for waxing thanks to the cut of the costume)…and won’t have the option to get up and leave after four strips have been pulled. However, I am pretty sure the language used in the movie will be tame compared to what will come out of Smoke’s mouth tonight.

Last week, during TSL, cub reporter (and son go the 07 car’s Crew Chief) Ford Martin walked around the garage and asked drivers what they thought would happen when Smoke got waxed. Jeff Burton replied "I think he will cry...Unfortunately, I think the person doing it will cry also". Dario Franchitti agreed. “I think he’ll probably cry….as tough as Tony Stewart is, I think he’ll cry. I know I would.” Dale Jarrett said “I think he’ll scream…If it is being done in Indiana, I think I’ll hear him in North Carolina.”

When asked how much it would be worth to pull off one of the strips of wax, Burton said “I’m not sure waxing Tony Stewart would be worth a whole lot to me. I’m not sure I’d want to get that close to him to touch him or something…so they’d have to pay me at least $100,000.” Jimmie Johnson added “If it was Smoke, yeah, I’d pay, just to put him through some pain and watch him squirm. I don’t think I can do it…but I’ll give $10-grand to the Tony Stewart Foundation for you (Ford) to pull a strip off his back.” (I have a feeling several folks at Goodyear would be lining up for the chance to take their turn at pulling a strip after last weekend, and they’d be doing it for free.)

Clint Bowyer called Stewart an ancestor of Chewbacca, and his teammate, Denny Hamlin, said he'll lose 20 pounds from just losing the hair. “I mean, you can even see it through the shirts. It’s bustin to get out.” When asked how much weight Smoke would lose, Carl Edwards burst out laughing. “Man, I don’t know. I’ve heard stories. I’ve never seen it, but it’ll be a lot.”

I can’t even imagine the pain that will be going on tomorrow night. Even worse, he has well over a week between when the waxing is done and when he gets back in his #20 Home Depot car…which means the hair will have a chance to start growing back.

Dave Moody said on Friday’s “Sirius Speedway” “Remind me not to walk next to him on the grid for the next few weeks. It will be like hugging a brillo pad. He’ll look like a bear in a cartoon movie, just scratching his (backside) on anything he can get to.”

Despite all the joking at Tony’s expense, the reason for his pain is a worthwhile one. What began as the response to a prank at Daytona a year ago has turned into a painful prospect for Tony, but a nice treat for the Victory Junction Gang Camp. At some point during the waxing tonight, Kyle Petty will be on hand to accept the check for $100,000.

Good luck Tony. And thanks for going through an hour or so of pain so a bunch of kids who live with pain every day can have some fun at camp.

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The thoughts and ideas expressed by this writer or any other writer on Insider Racing News, are not necessarily the views of the staff and/or management of IRN.

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